"Memoirs of a Disaffected Robot" - Say whaaa?

So why "Memoirs of a Disaffected Robot"? Ha, I never thought you'd ask, white computer screen with the text and blinking cursor. After my last relationship nosedived into the rocks, I decided to change a few more things than just my hair and finding a band-aid boyfriend over Scotch to drown my idiosyncrasies. That's how I wound up on Twitter and eventually, here. I decided I really didn't want to be Madam Basketball and do another rebound.

I'll spare you the boring details of my glorious neuroses - you have your own, I'm sure - but the process of enjoying being me instead of molding myself to others' expectations is what the title of this blog is all about. We really can't be all that we're meant to be for others until we're all that we were meant to be when we were made - and if who you are at your most fundamental level doesn't fit the needs of other people, you need different people (and so do they). 

I think one of the most interesting things about this phase of my life is that I skipped the heavy cynicism I went through after other relationships went south. I didn’t feel particularly frustrated or bitter; just ready to deal. The single denominator of all of my failed relationships was me. But the realization was neither fatalistic nor filled with the youthfully exuberant pretense that affectations are the cure for connectile dysfunction.

What I’ve discovered is that we’re all like little Russian nesting dolls…often inside of a box, inside of another box, inside of a suitcase, inside of a cargo container, inside of an airplane, inside of a storm. Basically, God was like Xzibit: “Yo dawg, I herd you like sentimentalities and longings, so I put sentimentalities and longings in your sentimentalities and longings so you can emote and wish for one thing while you think you’re emoting and wishing for another.” So growing and being is much more of a process than an event and as I’ve slowed down to realize that, it’s already made a difference. People already tell me I seem so much happier now. I’ve also noticed that I’m attracting those who seem comfortable in their own skin. A lot less work and a lot more fun – need I say more.  

- ME