Change: The Stuff of Living

Being depressed is so lame. Why would anyone want to be depressed or make it a full-time occupation? I think we all have a bit of Schadenfreude in us that says, “Oh, that hurt so good!” – and maybe that’s part of it. Because we do, it must serve some purpose; maybe it’s our way of pinching ourselves to make sure we’re awake. Or maybe it’s the journey that counts more than the destination.

I discovered some really mellow music this weekend that I liked. However, what I noticed was that the songs I was enjoying kept getting mellower and mellower (see previous post) until I’d managed to mellow myself into a corner. I was completely disheartened and nothing in my life had changed for the worst one bit! Saturday the girls came over and we had such a great time eating chocolate chip cookies I baked, watching movies and alcoholic spaniel’s antics, laughing until we cried – so if anything, I really should’ve been flying pretty darn high. And no, it wasn’t time for Shark Week.

So the only option left seems to be that I binged on some seriously mellow music and forgot to come up for air. But why? Maybe the reason I stayed under for so long was that with that binge came the sort of introspection that inspired a bout of creativity. It’s interesting to consider, especially since I know that when I’m coming up from feeling down, I likewise feel my creativity being kick-started. So maybe it’s not whether I’m up or down but in a state of transition. Perhaps it’s that sense of flux and newness that inspires the forsaking of ruts for branching out into new thinking and experimentation – all part of the risk-taking necessary for real creative expressiveness to be realized.

When I consider some of the most extreme people in history and culture, I invariably also find myself thinking about some of the most creative and influential. Robin Williams is manic-depressive, Albert Einstein is believed to have “suffered” from Asperger’s Syndrome; other so-called “idiot-savants” who memorize every stat known to man about a given area yet are unable to brush their hair or tie their shoes are also some noteworthy examples. As are Vincent van Gogh – who famously cut off his ear and gave it to a prostitute –  and Ludwig van Beethoven, one of the greatest composers ever known – and deaf! In both areas of art and science we find such memorable examples. We also find them in government: Winston Churchill was a great leader who slept till noon, yet was anything but inattentive. Yet, after guiding a nation to victory over the Nazi war machine, he was summarily discarded by British voters in the following election.

Photo by amesmonkey

So could it be that unless our lives had some sort of yin and yang that we’d become rutted wonders? Perhaps not just all work and no play but all play and no work make for a dull girl or boy (though the latter would make for one who’s hungry, too).

I think I may be onto something there. In fact, when I think back on my own life, it seems that along with times of greatest change and upheaval – going off to college, trying out a new ride at a theme park, exploring and going on road trips with friends, new relationships and breakups, new pets and saying goodbye to old ones as they leave us for critter heaven – those were moments when, whether happy or sad, I felt more alive than any other. While one can also see how the quest for such extremes can enter into an area of the unhealthy, when they are used to balance us and seen as opportunities, I think they tend to serve an important purpose in our lives.

And with that in mind, maybe that’s a point to remember when deciding whether to embrace the inevitable changes that come. While not all change is welcome, what we make of it can make it a net-positive in the long run.  

- ME

Vis B1785 Yin Yang Cats(c)Anneke Hilhorst 1993/ Art Unlimited